The Perils of Pandering
After equating homosexuality with bestiality, presidential candidate Mike Huckabee was attacked by a gay tiger.After equating homosexuality with bestiality, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee was attacked at the San Francisco Zoo by a gay tiger.
Huckabee had scheduled a campaign stop at the zoo where he made his controversial remarks about homosexuality and bestiality, not realizing that he was standing within earshot of a Bengal tiger with a homosexual lifestyle.
According to onlooker Tracy Klujian, 27, “the way that tiger started growling during the speech, you could tell that it felt like it was being taunted.”
As Huckabee’s remarks about homosexuality and bestiality reached their peak, the irate tiger leaped over an 18-foot barrier and began mauling the presidential candidate.
Within minutes, police responding to a 911 call were on the scene, where they fired tranquilizer darts at both the tiger and Huckabee, who had continued to make his offensive remarks throughout the mauling.
According to one aide, the unfortunate tiger attack incident has done nothing to change Huckabee’s position on gay marriage: “Not only that, but now he’s opposed to tigers marrying other tigers.”
In other campaign news, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney used a speech in South Carolina to tout his life experience, including his stint as a generic white male clipart illustration.
Elsewhere, frustrated by persistent questions about steroid use, pitcher Roger Clemens threw a car at a reporter.
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”
© 2008 Creators Syndicate
Your support matters…Independent journalism is under threat and overshadowed by heavily funded mainstream media.
You can help level the playing field. Become a member.
Your tax-deductible contribution keeps us digging beneath the headlines to give you thought-provoking, investigative reporting and analysis that unearths what's really happening- without compromise.
Give today to support our courageous, independent journalists.
Fred Thompson's political career spanned several decades and included some unique twists. The former Tennessee senator died in Nashville on Sunday.
Perhaps because he's already looking forward to 2012, or maybe because he had some pages to fill in his brand new book, erstwhile Republican presidential contender Mike Huckabee is once again taking issue with Mitt Romney and questioning his rival's commitment to conservative politics
Fred Thompson was supposed to be the political savior of his party, but instead he sputtered and fizzled his way through a disappointing few months of campaigning. After poor showings in every primary and caucus to date, Thompson has decided to call it quits. Next up, Rudy Giuliani?
Fred Thompson told Chris Wallace of "Fox News Sunday" that his network was biased, charging that criticism against Thompson's campaign "has been a constant mantra of Fox." As if to demonstrate the point, Wallace shot back: "Do you know anybody who thinks you've run a great campaign, sir?"
You need to be a supporter to comment.
There are currently no responses to this article.
Be the first to respond.